When you find yourself truculently bedighting your scrivenery with inimical prose, serried and thick as chaparral; I, for one, recommend elision instead. Otherwise, your writing may appear solecistic, and you, as a writer, solipsismal.
So, trying to will your book into viral popularity is like the guy I saw driving down the freeway with a mattress strapped to the top of his car and one hand out the window, as if he could stop a freakin’ mattress (read: fluffy, spring-loaded SAIL) from flying off his car.
A good title is true to its material. It doesn’t initially mislead the reader. A title designed to mislead the reader is probably followed by a mischievous, misleading, sarcastic book.
So hey, I talked about queries once upon a time, but I realized that I never really said how they’re written. This is definitely important, because you can’t find instructions to write query letters anywhere else on the internet.
Even if your prose would make McCarthy cry with jealousy, your book will not see the light of day without a well-crafted query.