{"id":1551,"date":"2017-04-17T16:44:01","date_gmt":"2017-04-17T20:44:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/?p=1551"},"modified":"2017-04-17T16:44:01","modified_gmt":"2017-04-17T20:44:01","slug":"writing-challenge-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/2017\/04\/17\/writing-challenge-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Writing Challenge #1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ahoy, folksies.<\/p>\n

I have a new idea! And it stems from my perceived inability to write tension without a threat of violence.<\/p>\n

But before I get all ahead of myself, let’s take a breath and explain. Athletes need to warm up (well, not according to Tallahassee from\u00a0Zombieland<\/em>, but whatever) and writers do, too. Because time—our most valuable yet most infuriatingly difficult to use resource–is limited, one might as well make the warm-up also developmentally worthwhile. I mean, want to get that swole<\/em> writer bod<\/em>? Then never spend a word willy-nilly. Trust me, or I’ll sic Hemmingway on ya…<\/p>\n

So, as a pre-writing warm up, your (and my) job is to construct a scene of less than 250 words that increases tension without a single ounce of\u00a0violence.<\/p>\n

Got it?<\/p>\n

Good.<\/p>\n

Mountainous Interludium…<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Credit:
Credit: Crazy Frankenstein<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Mountainous Fin…<\/em><\/p>\n

Now, about the book!<\/p>\n

Avengarde<\/em>. Yes, let’s talk Avengarde<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The marketing hat is a strange one for me, a little too tight around the temples, but it’s wearing in. Since the book released in November, I’ve done 10 signings and have a few more in the works. Panda Monk (my publishers) are currently working on the ebook variety of this tale, which should go on sale relatively soon ™. Everything is gravy, and I’ve already got a few people clamoring for the sequel.<\/p>\n

That being said, we could always use a little help in the publicity department, so if you read the book, share it with a friend or toss a recommendation someone’s way. Or, review it on Goodreads<\/a>, Amazon<\/a>, Barnes & Noble<\/a>, Craigslist, you name it!<\/p>\n

If you haven’t read the book, then I’d like you to imagine a little scene; a squirrel, tire tracks for a face, limp tail wavering in the breeze. Looking on: a baby squirrel with Disney sad eyes, who goes to its mother in the middle of the road. A tear drips off its tiny nose.<\/p>\n

I am that sad squirrel baby. And there’s not much you can do for the mother squirrel or her offspring, but you could consider buying my book!<\/a><\/p>\n

And, as always, check the Events <\/a>page to see if I’m doing anything cool in the future.<\/p>\n

Cheers, and happy writing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ahoy, folksies. I have a new idea! And it stems from my perceived inability to write tension without a threat of violence. But before I get all ahead of myself, let’s take a breath and explain. Athletes need to warm up (well, not according to Tallahassee from\u00a0Zombieland, but whatever) and writers do, too. Because time—our most valuable yet most infuriatingly difficult to use resource–is limited, one might as well make the warm-up also developmentally worthwhile. I mean, want to get that swole writer bod? Then never spend a word willy-nilly.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1552,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"amazonpipp_noncename":"","amazon-product-isactive":"","amazon-product-single-asin":"","amazon-product-content-location":"","amazon-product-content-hook-override":"","amazon-product-excerpt-hook-override":"","amazon-product-singular-only":"","amazon-product-amazon-desc":"","amazon-product-show-gallery":"","amazon-product-show-features":"","amazon-product-newwindow":"","amazon-product-show-list-price":"","amazon-product-show-used-price":"","amazon-product-show-saved-amt":"","amazon-product-timestamp":"","amazon-product-new-title":"","amazon-product-use-cartURL":"","amazon_featured_post_meta_key":"","_amazon_featured_alt":"","amazon-product-template":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[17,21,39,44,50,52,211,53],"tags":[214,185,215,212,213],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49,"url":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/2015\/01\/15\/prepare-to-be-uninspired\/","url_meta":{"origin":1551,"position":0},"title":"Prepare to be Uninspired!","date":"January 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"This is why it's easy to dismiss writing as \"creative fun\" rather than \"work\". If someone were to take a peek at me during the percolation stage, they'd have reason to think I was joking around about being an author. I mean, look! He's just staring at the screen, drooling\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Mountains\"","img":{"src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":167,"url":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/2015\/04\/01\/tensionaction\/","url_meta":{"origin":1551,"position":1},"title":"Tension=Action?","date":"April 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"If your writing doesn't make you squirm in the best of ways, then you're doing something wrong.","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Advice\"","img":{"src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":188,"url":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/2015\/08\/19\/character-pain\/","url_meta":{"origin":1551,"position":2},"title":"Character Pain","date":"August 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Character pain sounds like a bad thing, and it is. Audiences don't like it, writers don't like writing it (the empathetic human beings among us, that is), but nothing could be more quintessential to high quality entertainment.","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Bones\"","img":{"src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1551"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1551"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1551\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1555,"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1551\/revisions\/1555"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1551"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1551"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zacharybarnes.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1551"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}